I spent a lot of my life being a glass-half-empty kind of person. To be honest, I'm over that old, tired, cliche saying. If you think about it, neither option is bad. If you're pouring a glass, it's half-full, if you are enjoying the beverage, it's half empty. So how does that comparison even work properly?
I used to view life as getting in my way. Roadblocks were everywhere. I gave up on a lot of things because it was too hard to go around. Lately I find myself viewing things as challenges. Don't get me wrong, I still sometimes butt heads with roadblocks, and then have to take a minute or two to rethink things.
Take yesterday, for example. Oh my, was that the craziest day since my move. It started with me working on the final two assignments of homework in one class for this week. I finished the one, thought about backing my flash drive up onto my computer hard drive, but no, I usually do that at the end of a section and I had one more assignment to finish. I had a sudden urge to run to the bathroom. So I sat the laptop down quickly and...snap...bye bye flash drive. I was pissed for all of two minutes. Really, being angry wasn't going to redo all my assignments. So, I started in again...from the beginning. Almost four hours of work flushed. Gone. Vanished. The second time around went much quicker. It's amazing how good you get at things when you have to do them twice. I still have one assignment to finish, and YES, I am backing up my second flash drive so that doesn't happen again. HA.
Not long after my flash drive went to electronic heaven, something else happened. I won't go into detail, because I don't believe in airing dirty laundry. What's done is done, and once the cake has been thrown out, there is no point in trying to dig it back out of the trash so you can eat it too. Let's just say that I wasn't emotionally in the mood to deal with it.
I left for school a little late, but with plenty of time time to get to class on time. Lo and behold I manage to make it to the tracks as a train was crossing. La la la. Waiting for the train to pass. But again, what was I going to do about it. I'm never late to class, and my professor for my first class allows one late and one absence without deducting attendance points. So I didn't stress. And, I made it to class with two minutes to spare.
After that class I have about an hour and a half to work on homework. Guess what I worked on with a friend. Yep. My lost data. I was excited because I was proud of what I did the last week and I had even checked it against the answer key the dreaded-professor-who-knows-not-how-to-teach had delegated a colleague to build for her. I went into this class knowing how much I disliked the professor, but determined to do my best, learn everything I could, and make the most of it. Well, we got last week's assignment back. I got a C. Me, Ms. 4.0, bust my butt and do things right, read the material and come prepared to class, got a darned C! And for things that weren't even in the answer key! Things that she didn't cover in class! Stupid, little things. I lost it. I mean I really lost it. She said, "If I were your boss..." and I wanted to scream, "I would have quit to flip burgers at McDonald's a long time ago!" but I didn't. Instead I walked out and cried it all out in the bathroom. This is the teacher that says to NOT do things like the book says, tells us a thousand possible ways to do things, leaves everyone so confused there is no way we can do the right thing, and then publicly humiliates us in front of the class. Really? What the...? GRRR!
I'm going to let everyone in on a little secret. NEVER assume that tears are the result of sadness or disappointment. Tears are sometimes my way of directing my violence. They are a defense mechanism designed to protect myself and others. If I didn't cry, chances are I'd be punching or kicking. My tears, in cases like this, are not a sign of weakness, they are a sign of strength, an attempt at keeping my composure. I may look weak or insecure, but really I just want to do away with the injustice. And I'm not the only one in the class that hates that professor. In fact, I know at least two students who have dropped her courses this term, one of whom quit schooling completely because of teachers like her. I am better than that. And I can pretty much guarantee that she would say I may very well get a boss like her. Uh, no. That's where she's wrong. I've worked too hard in this program to be miserable when I put it into practice. If I wanted to be miserable, I would still be flipping burgers. I know I can get a good job with a good boss. I know because I have one. It isn't enough to pay all the bills without the help of my financial aid, I don't get benefits, and it's weekend work, but I love the job and my boss and the majority of my coworkers. I don't have to settle for the likes of her. That is what is going to get me through the rest of this semester and all of next, when I have her for three classes.
I'm going to focus on the rest of my classes and put her work last. There isn't any way to make that woman happy, and getting a grade that *heaven forbid* is less than an "A" won't hurt my GPA too much. And coming from me, that's huge.
Ironic that on the way home I hit the second train crossing of my day. Yeah. Really? But I was also okay with that. I mean, what am I going to do, stop a train? Sometimes it pays to just take those moments that are handed to you, such as that, when you have no choice but to sit and be patient and think, and really focus on the things that make all the endurance training worthwhile. I have two great boys, friends who care, a baby girl pup dog that adores me, and a great deal more self-esteem and confidence than I had before.
I consider this stage in my life my fitness course, the life-training segment of my endurance program.
Roadblocks? Right. I'll deal with those when I find one!
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